


in conclusion

by regal_roni



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, F/F, Happy Ending, Valentine's Day, happyish ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23266810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regal_roni/pseuds/regal_roni
Summary: In which jumping to conclusions is never a good idea. (Valentine's day fic)
Relationships: Jacqueline "Jack" Sloane/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	in conclusion

**Author's Note:**

> Eh I have really mixed feelings about this fic and I'm editing it with a headache which definitely is a stupid idea but I promised a friend I'd upload it today and it's already been over a month since valentine's...oops.

You weren’t bitter. Not even a little. It didn’t matter that _everyone_ seemed to have a valentine apart from you. 

It didn’t matter one bit. 

.

And Valentine’s was a stupid day anyway.

.

.

But _come on_. The universe was being an asshole because even Gibbs had had a red rose and a card sitting on his desk when you’d arrived this morning. (It was just a gift from Abby, but still). 

Your desk remained empty of anything pink, red or fluffy. It was just kind of embarrassing, especially considering Nick had this massive teddy currently sitting next to his desk. It was facing you and you could swear it was actually smirking. 

“Y/N can you please stop glaring at Mr Lovin’.” Your eyes snap away from the teddy and to Nick who sits opposite you. 

“Mr Lovin’...” your face scrunches up in disgust. You can hear Ellie sniggering from her desk, Nick sits up straighter.

“Amanda named him,” Nick says defensively, the tips of his ears tingeing pink. You roll your eyes “Just ‘cause you’re jealous Jack hasn’t gotten you anything.” The snide comment is said quietly but you still catch it. Your face goes bright red, the smirk disappearing from your face as you shuffle in your chair and duck your head.

So...that actually might have been the main reason you weren’t in the best mood. You and Jack weren’t together, so you didn’t have a reason to be upset. It was just the way Jack had spent the week going on about being excited for valentine’s day...it had made you a little hopeful. 

You’d sent her a bouquet of flowers. You didn’t leave a card but you knew if she wanted to know who they were from it wouldn’t be hard to work out. 

“Sorry.” Nick’s sheepish voice breaks you from your thoughts. He actually looks somewhat ashamed at his comment. 

“Don’t be,” You laugh. “It’s true.”

“Gibbs isn’t here. Go see her!” You contemplate refusing but she always managed to lighten your mood, and you wanted to see her reaction to your flowers. A smile graces your features as you head up the stairs to her office.

Her office door is closed. You frown, her office door is never closed. Knocking lightly, Jack’s panicked voice quickly calls “Who is it?” from the other side. 

“It’s Y/N. Are you ok?” 

“I’m good, just in the middle of something.” You think you hear a laugh that's definitely not Jack’s and your frown deepens. The door opens slightly, Jack was wearing red lipstick (which was unusual in itself) but it was also a little messy. You gulp stepping back as dread fills your stomach. “Is this for a case?” 

“Uh..” Your head is swarming. Jack raises her eyebrows prompting you to continue. “No. I was just coming to say hi.” 

Jack smiles warmly. “Could you come back in a bit then?” 

“Yeah, yeah of course.” You step back and Jack closes the door. Your eyes water against your best efforts and you try to clear the lump in your throat. 

Closed office door.

A man’s laugh.

Messy lipstick. 

You head back down to the bullpen in a trance. Stopping suddenly when you catch sight of Gibbs’ empty desk. _NO_. You think you’re going to be sick. Your eyes are burning and everything is too much. Jack and Gibbs? Jack and Gibbs. You’d actually thought there had been a slight hope...You’d sent her flowers and now she was making out with Gibbs in her office. A strangled laugh escapes your throat. 

“Y/N?” A hand rests lightly on your arm causing you to jump. Your head spins round and a concerned Ellie is looking back at you. Ellie’s eyes widen and you realise you must look like a mess. “What’s happened?” 

Your head is still swarming. You couldn’t respond, every emotion was rushing through your body. Shame, anger, embarrassment, disappointment, sadness, regret. 

“Y/N?” Ellie’s voice is slightly panicked now. She looks at Tim and Nick who are watching from their desks. 

“I told her to go see Jack.” Everyone turns back to stare at you with wide eyes. Jack had caused this? 

“Ok. We’re moving.” Ellie grabs your arm, pulling you along as Nick and Tim quickly get up from their desk and follow. You don’t pay attention to where you are going. It’s not until you’re sat down in a chair you notice you’re in one of the conference rooms.

\--

“Y/N what has happened?” You start laughing, one of those manic laughs that would quickly turn into sobs if you didn’t control it. The others all look at you like you’ve grown a second head. 

“Can you believe I actually thought that she liked me?” You finally speak after your laughter has subsided. You shake your head, rolling your eyes at yourself.

“Jack does like you” 

You shake your head. “She’s currently in her office making out with Gibbs so I-”

“WHAT?” Three voices shout in unison and you wince. 

“There is no way! I mean the woman is pretty much in love with you!” Ellie and Tim nod along to Nick’s words.

Your laugh is a little more broken this time and you have to fight back the tears that threaten to drip from your eyes. “Did you see them?” Tim asks and you shake your head. “Then how do you know-”

“Jack’s office door was shut. A man’s laugh. Messy lipstick. No Gibbs.”

“Maybe they’re just having lunch together?” 

“She asked me to come back later. I’ve walked in on them having lunch before - a couple of times she’s even invited me to join! Today she barely opened the door enough to poke her head through!” Tim and Nick shoot each other uneasy looks.

“This still doesn’t mean she was making out with Gibbs!” You roll your eyes at Ellie’s words and then take a deep breath in an attempt to calm your swirling emotions. It was time to return back to work. 

“It’s fine. This is good really right? I know now and Jack and I wouldn’t have worked anyway, let’s be honest. It was just a nice fantasy.” A fantasy. Imagining Jack and you wrapped up together watching tv, imaging her in your bed, messy hair and dazed smiles. Imagining kissing her and always being able to put that wide smile on her face and bringing out the adorable laugh she had. A fantasy. You didn’t need any of that, you could go back to before. 

Before what though? Before she became the one thing in your life that could always make you smile? Before she became your best friend? Before you guys started hanging out together just the two of you? Before lunch dates, Before evenings working in her office together for no reason other than you wanted too?

You’d zoned out completely, and quickly wipe away the tear rolling down your face when you notice the team's worried looks. You clear your throat. “Let’s get back to work.” You don’t wait for an answer, getting up and walking out of the room. You head back to the bullpen and to your desk. When Gibbs walks down the stairs less than 10 minutes later, a happy smirk on his face you snap your pencil. 

You try to focus back on your work but your mind won’t stop wondering. Nick actually throws a rubber at you at one point because you’d been staring at Gibbs (who only rolled his eyes before getting up and leaving the room). Your eyes bore into his back as you watch him walk the familiar route to Jack’s office. 

You spend the rest of the day avoiding her which gratefully isn’t hard as there is no case. The only time you even get close to running into her is when you head to the break room to get a snack and hear her laughing with someone. You freeze before turning the corner and quickly rush away before she can notice you, ignoring the rumble of your stomach. 

Tim’s out of the door the second the clock strikes 5. Determined to give Delilah a good valentines day while the twins stay with his sister for the night. You’re just getting ready to pack up and head home when Jack enters. You duck your head, suppressing a groan.

However, Jack either doesn’t seem to notice or doesn’t care as she walks right over to your desk and perches on the side. “Hey.” You don’t look up at her, focusing on packing your bag and steadily avoiding her gaze. 

“Hi” You offer. You see Nick shuffling uncomfortably in his chair and can tell he’s about to leg it. You glare at him and he sinks back into his chair, sighing. 

Jack’s now watching you curiously. “I wanted to thank you for my flowers.” Your hand stills and tightens around your water bottle.

You continue packing, trying to sound casual. “I’m glad you like them.” Jack’s hand reaches out to grasp your wrist lightly. Your whole body freezes as you swallow loudly and just stare at her hand. Jack frowns from beside you. 

“Are you ok?” She asks quietly, leaning in closer, her thumb rubbing soothing circles on your wrist. You have to bite your lip hard to stop yourself from whimpering. When you don’t respond, she grabs your chin turning it to face her. She looks so concerned as her eyes flutter over your face. 

You see someone move out of the corner of your eye and are reminded of where you are. Your eyes find Ellie, who's sitting at her desk subtly watching the both of you, before landing on Gibbs. He looks back at you with an unreadable expression and you instantly feel sick. 

You quickly step away from Jack’s gasp, slinging your bag on your back. “I’m fine. I’ve got to be going though.” You offer Jack a weak smile and ignore the stab of pain in your chest at her hurt expression. 

“Wait!” Jack reaches out again to grab your arm as you go to walk past her. You instantly still, your eyes going to the hand holding your arm but she doesn’t let go. “I was thinking...Did you wanna get dinner tonight?” 

“Dinner?” You choke...On Valentine’s day? Was she really trying to break your heart further? 

“Or just drinks? I don’t mind. If you don’t want to go out we-”

“I can’t,” You cut her off. You don’t understand why she’s doing this. Shouldn’t she have plans with Gibbs? You bite the inside of your mouth hard. “I uh, have plans.” 

“Plans?” Jack’s voice croaks, her hand finally flies from your arm, as if burnt. 

“Yeah. I have a date.” Your face heats up at the lie and you duck your head. Tears ghost Jack’s eye as she releases a breath. You miss it though, too busy trying to calm your own swirling emotions. “...So, I should be going.” 

“I just didn’t know you were seeing anyone…” 

“It’s pretty new.” Your eyes go to Gibbs and you swallow roughly.

“Right...You just never mentioned anything...” 

“Yeah well, I didn’t know I needed to tell you everything.” It comes out a lot more mean and bitter than you meant and Jack rears back in surprise. You want to apologise but then the image of her and Gibbs making out pops back into your head and you involuntarily tighten your fist. You clear your throat “Well. I don’t want to be late.” You say goodnight to everyone, avoiding Jack’s eyes as you make your way out of the bullpen and to the elevator. 

Jack watches you go. “Right. Ok.” She whispers to herself, clearing her throat and blinking away tears. She quickly puts on a fake smile, pushing her emotions down as she focuses back on the people around her. Ellie and Nick are watching her, both with a mix of surprise and pity. 

“Jack?” Her head spins towards Gibbs’ concerned voice. But before he can say anything Jack’s speaking again. 

“Well, I’ll see you all tomorrow. Have a good evening.” Jack quickly turns and walks off to her office, the other three staring after her in shock. 

\--

You cry a lot that evening. It was like you were mourning something you never had. The two of you had gotten so close, and that bright smile she had always directed your way? God, you’d really thought… _Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

When you get to work the next morning, Ellie tries to convince you to talk to Jack, but you ignore her and start work. When Gibbs arrives he glares at you. You sink into your chair and bury your head in your computer. 

“Dead Marine.” Gibbs barks and everyone quickly grabs their bags. You’re just putting yours on your back when Gibbs turns to face you. “Not you Y/N.” 

“What?” You ask in surprise. Tim, Nick and Ellie all watch Gibbs and you uneasily. He doesn’t say anything else, just turns and walks to the elevator, the other three trailing behind him. They shoot you pitying looks as you just stand still mouth blubbering like a fish.

Gibbs treats you like that the rest of the day. Barely speaks to you, only around enough to get the information you’ve collected on the case before he’s glaring at you again. It only pisses you off because _how dare he_. You didn’t understand what you’d done to piss him off, turned down Jack’s dinner invitation? Surely he’d appreciate that… 

You’re standing in the observation room now, watching Ellie and Nick as they interrogate the latest suspect. The door opens, and you turn expecting Tim but are surprised to see Jack. She freezes the second she sees you, looking back to the door deciding if she should just leave. She doesn’t though. Sighing, she avoids your eyes and walks over to watch the interrogation, you hate the amount of space she leaves between you. 

You both watch silently, you begin to twitch uncomfortably as the tension in the room builds. “How was your date?” You jolt in surprise, eyes swinging to hers. She’s already watching you a pained expression on her face, and you quickly look away. 

“Yeah.” You clear your throat. “It was good..” Jack just nods her head, turning back to watch the interrogation. 

“Did you do anything nice?” It’s Jack's turn to still now, chuckling hollowly.

“Nope.” There’s an odd tone to her voice and you want to ask more, why Gibbs hadn’t done anything for her? But then Tim enters and Jack’s quickly muttering something about profiles and then disappears from the room. 

\--

“What is your problem with me?” 

Gibbs sighs, turning around to face you again. You’re both standing behind the stairs. He just directs his signature stare at you so you continue. “You’ve been glaring at me all day, begrudgingly letting me do my actual job!” You’re getting heated, your voice rising and despite how much _‘bad idea, stop!’_ is running through your head you can’t seem to. “What is it because I didn’t spend the evening with Jack?” Gibbs’ jaw tightens and you rear back in surprise. “That doesn’t even make sense! You should be happy!” 

You laugh incredulously as you stare at Gibbs in shock. “Happy?” Disbelief masks his face and you’re so _confused_.

“What do you think I don’t know? I mean you both did pretty well at hiding it, I’ll give you credit for that. But now I’ve worked it out it makes sense! I mean everyone always said you two had a ‘thing’ or something, so really I shouldn’t have been surprised right?” Your voice cracks, as frustrated tears make their way down your face, you completely miss when understanding finally crosses Gibbs’ face. You don’t even really see him anymore as you rant. “I was the idiot who fell for her! Y’know when I first realised my feelings, I tried _so hard_ to make them go away because I _knew_ it would only end badly. But all she has to do is enter a room and I'm weak in the knees and now I’ve gone and fucked up our whole friendship because I’m so fucking disappointed that she chose _you_!”

“Agent Y/N! That’s enough!” Vance’s voice booms from the stairs above you. You jump back suddenly reminded of where you are and look around to see half the office has stopped to watch your meltdown. Your cheeks flame red, and you hastily wipe away the tears rolling down your face. Gibbs has an unreadable expression on his face and the realisation of what you've just done hits you like a ton of bricks. 

Your instincts kick in and you run. Barely pausing to grab your bag from your desk (and steadily avoiding the looks from everyone else in the room). The elevator doors are opening just as you’re rushing away and you’re about to thank your luck...when Jack exits. She gasps in shock when she sees you “Y/N?”. The concern in her voice makes it so much worse. You know you must look an absolute mess but you don’t stop, instead, you jump onto the elevator and whack the button to close the door. 

When Jack turns away from the elevator to face the room everyone is watching her. “What?” Her arms come to cross her chest and people suddenly start back to work. Vance and Gibbs are now talking on the stairs and Jack can tell something bad just happened. 

\--

You were definitely going to get fired right? And even if you didn’t, you couldn’t return now. Your insides squirm and you frustratedly brush tears from your face. You were going to lose your job, your family...Jack. All because you’d lost control of your emotions and shouted at Gibbs! _Gibbs_ , of all people, you really knew how to fuck everything up, didn’t you! 

You just crawl into bed when you get home, hiding under your covers and from the world. You must cry yourself to sleep because when you wake up a few hours later the sun is setting. You get out of your rumbled clothes from the day and change into pyjamas before heading to your bathroom to remove the remnants of your makeup and splash cold water against your face.

You’re making yourself a cup of tea when the doorbell rings. You’re going to ignore it but seconds later it’s rung again and then someone is loudly knocking on your door. You sigh, putting down your mug and heading to the door. 

You throw the door open, ready to tell whoever it was to politely fuck off but stop when you realise who it is.

“Jack...” You swallow roughly. She looks pissed and you feel your heart drop into your stomach. “Right...Well...Come on in.” You step back to allow her to enter.

“ _Now_ you’re worried about people hearing your conversations,” Jack snarks, as she walks past you and into your home. You don’t say anything. Just shut the door and turn around to face her.

She doesn’t say anything else just watches you as you fidget nervously. “I guess they told you…” You finally say, unable to deal with the silence. Jack rolls her eyes at that, because _duh_. “I uh...I’m sorry. It was super unprofessional, I don’t even really know what happened, one minute I was frustrated at Gibbs for ignoring me and the next I was screaming at him for…” You cut yourself off, clearing your throat. 

“For?”

Your eyes narrow as you turn finally meet her eyes. “Really? What you want me to tell you so you can bask in the glory of how pathetic I am.” 

“Y/N-” 

“I’m sorry ok? I’m the one who was obviously seeing something that wasn’t there! God, I’m such an idiot.” You groan as frustrated tears make their way down your face again. You were so bloody sick of crying. “I’m not going to be able to return to NCIS ever so really you don’t have to worry about any of this, I’ll be gone and you can live happily ever after with Gibbs.”

“Your plan is to leave?” Jack’s eyes narrow and the annoyance is back in her tone.

“Well, what else am I meant to do Jack?” You snap. “I can’t return. The pitying stares would be constant and…” You swallow roughly, your voice quieting “and I can’t watch you two together Jack...It hurts.” Your voice trembles as your eyes ghost with tears. Your hand goes to your chest in an attempt to calm your thumping heart.

You’re taking deep breaths in an attempt to ward off the breakdown you can sense coming. You wanted to escape this conversation with whatever dignity you have left. Jack starts to slowly walk towards you, hand reaching out to touch you but you jump back before she can. “Don’t” You beg, your eyes pleading with her to understand. 

She drops her hand, arms hugging around herself. “Gibbs and I aren’t together” 

Your gaze snaps up to hers, voice snapping. “Don’t toy with me...Yesterday. In your office, your door was shut, his laugh and,” Your eyes fall to her lips as you think about the way her lipstick had been smudged. You avert your gaze, taking a shaky breath. “messy lipstick.” 

Jack lets out a long sigh, her voice softening. “We had lunch. The door was shut because well, I was telling him about the evening I had planned for us. I panicked when you knocked because the dress I was planning on wearing and these chocolates I brought were sitting in plain view and I didn’t want to ruin the surprise.” 

“Surprise?” You swallow roughly, unsure of exactly what she was saying.

“The date I had planned, I didn’t want you to catch on until the last second.” Jack’s avoiding your eyes now, and your jaw drops at her confession. 

“When you asked me to dinner…” Understanding finally dawns on you.

“Yeah I didn’t take into account you’d probably have a date.” 

“I didn’t. I uh, just needed an excuse, I couldn’t, not when I thought…” You swallow roughly. 

Jack’s still standing in front of you, just out of reach and you take a step forward amazed by the way her breath catches. Her eyes flutter over your face and you’ve not sure what she’s looking for but she must find it as a small smile tugs at her lips. 

Jack takes a step closer to you, linking your hands together. Your eyes water at the softness of her touch and when your eyes meet hers you see the same watery eyes reflected back at you. “I’m really sorry.” You blow out a breath “God, I really messed everything up.” 

“I guess we know I shouldn’t try and surprise you again,” Jack smirks, her eyes lighting up as she takes another step towards you, you were centimetres apart now. You can tell she’s about to throw in another quip but you don’t let her, instead, leaning over and pressing a soft kiss against her lips. 

You pull back to gauge her reaction and she’s smiling. Her hand snakes up to your neck and she pulls you back in, the kiss is hard this time and your arms automatically go around her waist to pull her closer to you. You both stumble backwards until your back hits a wall. You stoke the exposed skin on her waist and she releases a soft moan. You struggle to hold back the smirk that tugs at your lips knowing you can pull that sound out of her.

Jack slowly pulls away from your lips. You’re both breathing deeply and you can’t open your eyes scared this is all going to disappear. 

“Y/N?” Jack soothes, wiping away a tear that rolls down your cheek. You shiver. 

“What happens now?” It comes out so breathlessly, your voice barely above a whisper. 

“Whatever we want.” Jack’s hand is still rubbing at your cheek and when you finally open your eyes again a smile fills her face. Jack’s eyes go to your lips and she leans over to kiss you again, it’s soft and sweet and almost feels like a promise. 

Your foreheads rest against each other. You’re just about to lean back in and kiss her again when a realisation of an earlier comment comes back to your brain. “Wait, did you say you brought me chocolates?” 

Jack breaks into laughter, rolling her eyes as she pulls you into a kiss, a wide smile still on her face. You don’t know what tomorrow will bring and you try not to think about it. Tonight was just about you and Jack.


End file.
